Jokes of The Day
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Just been to my mates funeral, he was killed by a tennis ball hitting him on the head.
It was a lovely service.
My wife rang me on my mobile today and said, “Where the hell are you?”
I said “Can you remember that jewellery shop we looked in on Saturday? The one that had those earrings you liked in the window.”
“Yes.” She said, In a much more cheerful tone.
I said, “Well I’m in the pub next door.”
Son ask’s father “why do women wear White on their wedding day?”
father replies “son all domestic appliances come in White.
A man goes to confession after a sixteen year absence. As he sits in the booth he looks around and says to the priest ‘confession is different these days father, i dont remember a leather chair, bottles of whisky, guinness on tap and gay porn mags being in the booth before’, the priest says, ‘ Thats because your on my side..
I kept telling my wife not to turn her head away near the end of a blow job. . Did she listen? . . . Did she fuck, it went in one ear and out the other.