Sifu Dansac Explains Dyslexic Kick

Hello Laui, Nihau! My name Sifu Dansac; I am Kung Fu master, I am warrior, I am dyslexic! Many Laui student often ask Sifu, “What is best and most dangerous move?” To this Sifu always reply, “Dyslexic Kick!”

You what?

Dyslexic Kick is secret kicking technique develop by Sifu long, long ago, under tutelage by wise Kung-Fu masters in Tibet and equally mysterious places far away. Dyslexic Kick is derivation of kicking skill study by many masters all over world through all of history; it is ultimate kick, all but unbeatable. Never yet have Sifu seen man stand up to mighty Dyslexic Kick.

Yes, but what is it?

Full name of kick will explain more what is all about; full English name of technique is Pacifist Dyslexic Kick, indicate that kick draw power from peace and convert enemy aggression against him. ‘Dyslexic’ have many meaning in this context; first most obvious, that kick target nerve point on body and disrupt function of human brain, render victim dyslexic in addition to normal effect of receive foot in teeth at velocity. Second meaning is that kick strategy derive from inversion of normal pattern of thought vis-à-vis left-right interaction frontal lobes of brain. For this and other complex reasons, Pacifist Dyslexic Kick is impossible to predict by Ninja mind control.

Cool. How do I do it?

Patience, Laui; Sifu is not yet done go on at length about how great is him favorite kick. Sifu could go on and on, explain how kick separate oil from water with vibration of chi , go on even greater length explain scientific studies and theory behind kick, go on even longer about many masters who contribute to study of Pacifist Dyslexic Kick, tell you many tale about great warrior defeated by Pacifist Dyslexic Kick, but there is not time here and you probably get bored.

Too right!

Be calm, Laui, be not in hurry; Sifu will explain in time. First, stand strong, face opponent with angry visage and strong bunched fists; let him see how strong and angry you are. Now use inversion philosophy of left-hand martial art to turn pacifism into weapon; that right, Laui; get ready to pass-a-fist on you enemy! Now brace you self and make big show get ready for kick, swing arms and do power-ranger kung-fu stuff while shout very loud “Dyslexic Kick!”

It is most important you shout, Laui, because Pacifist Dyslexic Kick is so cool, it not fair unleash upon unsuspecting enemy; only fair warn him first that he is about to die. So scream “Dyslexic Kick!”, then punch enemy in the face. That’s right Laui; punch him in the face. After all that build-up, all that posture and shout, him is ready now for spectacular Kung-Fu movie kick, with wire-work and special effects. Wile him is wait for big budget kick, punch him in the face.

The World Shall Hear From Me Again!