You Know You’re a Real Hockey Fan When..

10. You say “puck” so much that your Mom doesn’t slap you for it anymore.

9. If given a choice between the two, you’d choose to drive a Zamboni around the ice over driving a Porsche on the German Autobahns.

8. You know the nickname of every player…even the players you hate.

7. You admire a beautiful goal…even when it’s scored against your team.

6. You can “smell” the ice.

5. You equate the Montreal Forum, Maple Leaf Gardens, Boston Garden, and/or Madison Square Garden with Mecca or Jerusalem.

4. You consider the Holy Trinity to be Wayne Gretzky, Gordie Howe, and Bobby Orr.

3. Despite what Dan Brown writes, you believe the Stanley Cup to be the true Holy Grail.

2. You consider Team USA’s win over the Soviets at the 1980 Olympics in Lake Placid to be the single greatest moment in sports history.

1. You cried when Wayne Gretzky retired.