Tiger Woods Leaves Pga Tour: Let’s Hope He Never Comes Back
To hell with Tiger.
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It’s been awhile since we had a day with no Tiger news. For weeks, we’ve had one bimbo after another come out of the woodwork, and all the while with no word whatsoever from Tiger. Today, he broke the ice, at least in a fashion. He announced that he’s taking an ‘Indefinate break’ from golf, to ‘repair his marriage’. I am simultaneously disgusted and impressed.
In an ideal world, Tiger would fall. His wife would leave him, taking him for every penny he has. (And eating up a chunk of his wealth in an ugly, messy divorce) All of his endorsements would drop him, and the PGA would turn a cold shoulder to him. He would be forced to do the circut of awful VH1 reality shows (ala Vanilla Ice) and eventually end up giving golf lessons at some mid rate club, living out his life in relative obscurity.
If it sounds like I’m being a bit harsh, it’s because I am. In all honesty, I loathe Tiger. He was born with a gift; the ability to do one particular thing better than anyone in the the world. Not that he didn’t put in his fair share of ‘work’ (If you call playing golf work… most of us consider it to be a relaxing pasttime; it’s something the rest of us do to get away from work.) into it, but the bottom line is that he was living a dream. As many in America struggle to survive, he was being paid unfathomable amounts of money to play a game. Adored by millions, admired by all. And he blew it. All he had to do was not be a moron. Keep playing golf, don’t get yourself arrested for anything, and stay faithful to your supermodel wife. Not a whole lot to ask in return for a fantasy life. But the arrogant fool chose instead to sleep with half of the bimbos in America. Hookers, porn stars, even Perkins managers. So as far as I’m concerned, Tiger should suffer. There are people in this country struggling to keep your homes and feed their children. To hell with Tiger.
But sadly this isn’t how it will work. When I said I was impressed, I meant so in a disgusted way. It’s not hard to see how this is all going to play out. He’ll stay gone for a while; maybe a year. Enough time for the remaining ’side projects’ to come out and make their little money, and to let the media circus die down. Golf will suffer; the game itself will improve and be more competitive, but no one will watch or care.
Eventually, he’ll make a comeback. It will start with some small tournament; one where he has traditionally done well so as to increase his odds of winning. Then the appearances on Oprah will start. The PGA will welcome him back, obviously. Morals aren’t really an issue when you’re a cash cow.
And of course, we’ll forgive him. If there’s one thing we like more than watching our celebrities fall, it’s comeback stories. He’ll never reach the level of popularity he had, but some of the endorsements will come back. The poor guy will get his second chance, although he’ll probably have to limp along making ‘only’ $20 million a year or so.
But such is the nature of who we are as a society. It’s sad, but it is what it is. My only hope is that he either blows it again, or that through all of this he somehow manages to ‘lose his game’. He won’t be worth much as a celebrity if he can no longer do the one thing he does. If there is any justice in the world, fate will find a way to make sure he falls from his arrogant pedestal. We can only hope. In the meantime, I’ll simply resign myself by saying ‘To Hell with Tiger Woods.’
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Emmie
11 Comments
Nice info:…
Poor Tiger, but I must say, I was not suprised.
Poor Tiger …read that he just lost a big endorsement. Surprise!
GO Colts!! their friggin awesome
I am quite amazed that his wife is staying with him. If it was my husband that had slept with eight women including a porn star, I would be cutting some very vital parts of his anatomy.
Ha ha ha, I could care less if he came back, he has made some stupid remarks and I’m not feeling him. So he reaps what he sow.
From what I hear on the news he paid his wife to marry him any way. So she isn’t such a paragon of virture either.
Just watch sports fans. This will turn out to be great for everyone in the soon to be long run. Tiger will get back to golf with his former vengence and this time with a FUN side. He’ll make money for himself and his alimony payments. He’ll have a bigger following than ever for on the course and off the course abilities. Endorsements will be bigger than ever and this time with real advertizers (booze, tobacco casino companies are lining up as we speak…).
The PGA will have to change the game and include a 19th hole cuz as soon as the action is over on the turf we’ll run to the clubhouse.
Country clubs will benefit from the new (old but hush hush) bravado of golf being fun again.
Tiger will probably gain a few pounds but he’ll also have a few more stripes. Missed putt? “‘what the hey, I’m heading out of here asap on my way to adult libations and relaxation.”
Grow up sports fans cuz you’re going to miss the bus if you don’t get in line now. I’m ready.
You got that right tiger fan. I’m ready to get back at it and have everyone stop judging each other. The PGA needs to let the pros use carts, wear shorts and have a couple of cold ones on the course – just like every other golfer in the world. Plus, what’s up with everyone being quiet during a putt. Did MJ get to shush the crowd for a free throw?
Decourm my wide white rear, we need to cut it loose and live and let live. With El Tigre leading the way this game will be rockin and rolling. Get in line for a tee time, baby!
Hate is a strong word. It should be used in a context for hating
someone like Hitler, Charles Manson or Osama bin Laden, not for a mere golfer who succumbs to the natural urge of seducing
the women who only want to indulge him. He’s not a role model for doing that especially while being a husband. But hating a hedonist who doesn’t go around killing people is a step
to the extreme. Hate should be applied to those who go around
zealously murdering people. Not for a celebrity golfer who probably needs some heavy duty counseling.
It seems to me that he has no respect for women…