Official NFL Power Rankings: Week 5

Half of the NFL is undefeated, and half is winless, or so it seems. Brady and Favre are gunslinging again. The Mannings are outshining them both, albeit quietly. Flacco, Kolb, Ryan… didn’t there used to be a quarterback shortage in the NFL? The league has always gone in cycles… thank God offense is back. Here are the week 5 Power Rankings….

1. Indianapolis Colts (4-0) ( last week #4 )

   

   Manning is quietly dismantling the NFL team by team.

2. New Orleans Saints (4-0) ( last week #3 )

   

   Turns out the Saints can win games with their defense, too. This team may be better than anyone thought.

3. New York Giants (4-0) ( last week #2 )

   

   Would be higher if Eli’s health weren’t an issue. If he’s gonna miss a week, Oakland is the week to do it.

4. New England Patriots (3-1) ( last week #6 )

   

   The old fellas just keep smacking the young punks down.

5. Minnesota Vikings (4-0) ( last week #8 )

   

   Any Brett Favre disbelievers still out there?

6. Baltimore Ravens (3-1) ( last week #1 )

   

   As far as moral victories go, at least they showed they belong in the same mention as the big boys.

7. Philadelphia Eagles (2-1) ( last week #7 )

   

   An off week and they lose a spot. Life in the NFL.

8. San Fransisco 49ers (3-1) ( last week #10 )

   

   Best way to bounce back after a tough loss… play the Rams.

9. New York Jets (3-1) ( last week #5 )

   

   Back to reality, J-E-T-S fans. They’re good, but those Super Bowl chants were just a wee bit premature.

10. Atlanta Falcons (2-1) ( last week #9 )

    

    Big test against the Niners… They need to bounce back from the Patriots whooping.

11. Chicago Bears (3-1) ( last week #13 )

    

    Granted, it was only Detroit, but 50 points in any NFL game is impressive.

12. Denver Broncos (4-0) ( last week #19 )

    

    Still not sold, dammit. But 4-0 is 4-0.

13. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2) ( last week #12 )

    

    I wouldn’t call it a ‘Steelers are back’ victory, but it is a win over a decent Chargers team.

14. Green Bay Packers (2-2) ( last week #11 )

    

    What Rodgers lacks in Offensive Linemen, he makes up in heart. He can walk out of the dome with his head up.

15. Houston Texans (2-2) ( last week #22 )

    

    An up week for the schizo boys from Texas. Gotta wonder who will show up in Arizona.

16. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-2) ( last week #18 )

    

    Just when it looked like the boat was sinking in Jacksonville…

17.  Dallas Cowboys (2-2) ( last week #14 )

    

    If this team could just find an identity…200 yard rushing games don’t grow on trees.

18. San Diego Chargers (2-2) ( last week #15 )

    

    Good thing for the Bolts they’re in the AFC west.

19. Cincinnati Bengals (2-2) ( last week #16 )

    

    Ok… you beat Pittsburgh, and escape Cleveland… what?

20. Arizona Cardinals (1-2) ( last week #23 )

    

    Cards need a big win over the Texans to avoid falling too far back of the Niners.

21. Miami Dolphins (1-3) ( last week #24 )

    

    Of all the surprise 0-3 teams, you just knew Miami was too good to be there.

22. Buffalo Bills (1-3) ( last week #17 )

    

    Did T.O. retire? And the year started on such an optimistic note…

23. Carolina Panthers (0-3) ( last week #25 )

    

    If the Panthers are going to make anything out of this season, they need a convincing win against the Skins.

24. Seattle Seahawks (1-3) ( last week #20 )

    

    Could be a very long year in the rainy northwest.

25. Detroit Lions (1-3) ( last week #26 )

    

    Back to Business as usual for the Lions.

26. Tennessee Titans (0-4) ( last week #21 )

    

    I just kept thinking the Titans were going to get it together, but with Indy up next, 0-5 seems certain.

27. Kansas City Chiefs (0-4) ( last week #28 )

    

    Seems like there are a lot of teams wondering if they’ll win a game. Still have Oakland and Cleveland on the docket….

28. Oakland Raiders (1-3) ( last week #27 )

    

    It’s becoming my mantra… I hate Jamarcus Russell. I thought he was bad after last week. Now I think he’s awful.

29. Washington Redskins (2-2) ( last week #30 )

    

    They are, without a doubt, the worst 2-2 team I’ve ever seen.

30. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-4) ( last week #29 )

    

    Detroit beat the Skins… the Skins beat Tampa… put your tails between your legs and limp home, Bucs.

31. Cleveland Browns (0-4) ( last week #32 )

    

    Did the Browns actually almost win a game? Nah.

32. St Louis Rams (0-4) ( last week #31 )

    

    My TV smells bad when highlights from Rams games come on.