Guaranteed Picks for NFL Week Two

Week one was what week one is every year in the NFL… a mess.  Some of our misconceptions were blown out of the water immediately.  Some teams we thought would be awful surprised us, some many of us had penciled in for the playoffs dropped a turd.  Before we get to the picks, let’s see what we discovered from week 1 of the NFL season showed us.

What we figured, but had confirmed:

• The Ravens offense is going to score a lot of points.
• Cincinnati, Houston, Detroit, St. Louis, and Cleveland still suck.
• Drew Brees will throw alot of touchdown passes.
• Tony Romo will be better without T.O.
• Adrian Peterson is sick.

What we still don’t know

• Is Brett Favre still Brett Favre?
• Are the Patriots back?
• Was Arizona just lucky?
• Is Jay Cutler really any good, or was he just a product of Denver’s system?

What we learned

• Aaron Rodgers has heart to go with his arm.
• Mark Sanchez is good.

And now, to the picks.  (as usual, of course, guaranteed!)

     

Carolina Panthers (0-1) at Atlanta Falcons (1-0)

The Panthers laid a massive egg in their own back yard, while Atlanta efficiently handled their business against Miami.  Tony Gonzalez has made phenom Ryan Better. 

Prediction: The Falcons will continue to show us how wrong we all were about Carolina.  Falcons 21-13

     

Minnesota Vikings (1-0) at Detroit Lions (0-1)

Adrian Peterson is ridiculous.  I was incredulous at first; could Farve live with quietly handing the ball to AP 30 times a game?  So far, so Good.  Expect the Vikings to experiment more with the passing game, and build confidence for the young Viking receivers.  Being Detroit, it is just a walk through.

Prediction:  Should be over by halftime.  Vikings 38-14

        

Cincinnati Bengals (0-1) at Green Bay Packers (1-0)

Every year, Cincy is a chic preseason pick to finally ‘break out’.  And every year they find new and innovative ways to suck.  Aaron Rodgers took a huge step against the Bears;  he was an all pro caliber quarterback last year… until the final two minutes.  With the game on the line, time after time, he blew it.  Not this time. 

Prediction:  Expect Rodgers to put it up early and often, with success.  Big confidence game.  Packers 35-10

  

Houston Texans (0-1) at Tennessee Titans (0-1)

Houston may never be any good.  They should be good.  They have weapons.  But, again, they appear to be just a bit short.  The Titans, meanwhile, are exactly what they are every year. (When will people realize how well coached this team is?)

Prediction:  The Texans will get shut down for the second straight week.  Titans 17-7

   

Oakland Raiders (0-1) at Kansas City Chiefs (0-1)

The Raiders are obviously better.  The Chiefs are a little better.  Neither is good yet.  Booooring.

Prediction: Raiders will sneak one in KC.  Raiders 24-21

      

New England Patriots (1-0) at New York Jets (1-0)

This is suddenly a much more interesting matchup that anyone thought it would be a week ago.  But you have to figure the Bilichek will have the Pats ready for rookie Sanchez.

Prediction:  New England is not Houston.  Pats 27-14

       

New Orleans Saints (1-0) at Philadelphia Eagles (1-0)

And this one is far less interesting than anyone would have thought a week ago.  It should still be a fun game to watch, and Brees will show that those numbers will come against anyone.

Prediction:  No McNabb will open the door for New Orleans.  Saints 31-28

  

St. Louis Rams (0-1) at Washington Redskins (0-1)

The Rams may be this year’s Lions. (or they would be if the Lions weren’t this years Lions)  The Redskins are a .500 team at best, but they should look good here.

Prediction:  Happy hogs this week.  Redskins 28-10.

       

Arizona Cardinals (0-1) at Jacksonville Jaguars (0-1)

People forget that the Cardinals were just a 9-7 team last year that caught a Cinderella breeze.  The Jags are the kind of physical team that tends to beat up on the Arizonas of the world.

Prediction:  Jags too much for the Cards; Super Bowl slump is in full effect.  Jags 24-20

        

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-1) at Buffalo Bills (0-1)

The Bucs simply aren’t that good this year.  And they’re so boring.  The Bills, though… They should have beaten the Patriots.  Trent Edwards is still Trent Edwards, and who is the guy at running back?  But somehow, they looked good…

Prediction:  The Bills almost beat the Pats.   They will beat the Bucs.  Bills 23-13

      

Seattle Seahawks (1-0) at San Francisco 49ers (1-0)

This is where we’ll find out if the Niners are for real.  Seattle looked good against the hapless Rams; it won’t be that easy in the Bay.

Prediction:  The Niners are, in fact, for real.  They won’t just win, they’ll do so decisively.  49ers 27-10

   

Pittsburgh Steelers (1-0) at Chicago Bears (0-1)

The Steelers are a great football team.  The Bears aren’t even a good football team.  Think Cutler looked bad against the Packers?

Prediction:  With Urlacher running the show, it might have been competitive.  Steelers 27-7

      

Baltimore Ravens (1-0) at San Diego Chargers (1-0)

The Ravens offense is potent. (how weird is it hearing that?)  The Chargers are getting old;  it would appear that their window of opportunity has closed.

Prediction:  San Diego used to be a scary place to play.  It won’t be this week.  Ravens 28-20

    

Cleveland Browns (0-1) at Denver Broncos (1-0)

Another one of those games between two not so good teams; it should ironically be a good game.  Now that the Browns have ended their touchdown drought (what was it, 2 or 3 years?)  a bit of the pressure will be off of Brady Quinn.

Prediction:  Quinn will have his first good game as a starter, and pick up his first win.  Browns 23-21

 

New York Giants (1-0) at Dallas Cowboys (1-0)

Game of the week.  This is the year we find out that both of these quarterbacks are amongst the NFL’s elite.  Romo a bit more so, if only because he has better receivers.

Prediction:  Romo outguns Eli.  Cowboys 35-31

Indianapolis Colts (1-0) at Miami Dolphins (0-1)

The Dolphins were just ugly against Atlanta;  last year’s big overachievers may just have come back down to earth.   We don’t know how much the Colts miss Dungy yet;  time will tell.

Prediction:  The Dolphins aren’t as good as we thought.  The Colts are still the Colts.  Indy 28-13

So there you have it; the guaranteed picks for week 2.  Let’s hope this week is as exciting as week 1.  See you in week 3!