Guaranteed Picks for NFL Week 7

     Week 7’s Guaranteed NFL picks

Green Bay Packers (3-2) at Cleveland Browns (1-5)

Another warm up game, this time against the Browns, should help Rodgers and The Packers’ O line build a bit more confidence.

Prediction: More big numbers for A Rod. (the other one)  Packers 34 Browns 13

San Diego Chargers (2-2) at Kansas City Chiefs (1-5)

The Chiefs finally got a win against the Deadskins.  Not so easy against Rivers and the boys. 

Prediction:  Back to reality.  Chargers 28 Chiefs 17

Indianapolis Colts (5-0) at St Louis Rams (0-6)

Should be Competitive… right up until kickoff.

Prediction:  Manning puts up grotesque numbers.  Colts 45 Rams 10

New England Patriots (4-2) at Tampa Bay Suckaneers (0-6)

The Beast has been awakened.  After what they did to Tennessee Tech, Tampa Bay St and the rest of the division 2 schools are trembling.

Prediction:  Shouldn’t be quite as ugly.  Pats 42 Suckaneers 14

 

Minnesota Vikings (6-0) at Pittsburgh Steelers (4-2)

This could be the game of the year.  Big Ben is clicking, Favre has been 1996 good.  Expect fireworks.  Lots of them.

Prediction:  Vikings are starting to look like this year’s team of destiny.  Vikings 31 Steelers 28

San Fransisco 49ers (3-2) at Houston Texans (3-3)

The Niners need to get the wheels that came off last week back in place.  Houston… who the hell knows?  They have alternated all year, so lets assume they’ll keep to pattern this week and suck.

Prediction:  Niners get it right.  49ers 27 Texans 17

Buffalo Bills (2-4) at Carolina Panthers (2-3)

The Bills pulled one out of a hat against the J-e-t-s Jets, and Carolina won another unimpressive one.  This should actually be a good game. 

Prediction:  Carolina continues to creep back into the picture.  Panthers 24 Bills 17 

New York Jets (3-3) at Oakland Raiders (2-4)

The worst QB in NFL history is just what those J-e-t-s need to right the ship.

Prediction:  JaLoser strikes again.  Jets 27 Raiders 7

Chicago Bears (3-2) at Cincinnati Bengals (4-2)

Bears didn’t look quite so explosive against a real defense.

Prediction:  Bungles may still implode, but not this week.  Bengals 24 Bears 21

Atlanta Falcons (4-1) at Dallas Cowboys (3-2)

If the ‘Boys want to show they can still compete with the big boys, they need to handle Atlanta at home.

Prediction:  Statement game.  Cowboys 31 Falcons 24

New Orleans Saints (5-0) at Miami Dolphins (2-3)

Poor Miami.  Just starting to roll, and they run into the machine.

Prediction:  Dolphins will keep it competitive for a bit, but too much firepower.  Saints 38 Dolphins 20

Arizona Cardinals (3-2) at New York Giants (5-1)

You just know that one left a bad taste in the Giants’ mouth.  Sucks to be the Cardinals.

Prediction:  Big and ugly.  Giants 42 Cardinals 14

Philadelphia Eagles (3-2) at Washington Redskins (2-4)

Uh… yuck.

Prediction: (if I must)  Eagles 24 Redskins 10

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Week 6 Breakdown… The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

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St Louis Rams (0-5) at Jacksonville Jaguars (2-3)

This one should just be a blast.  I don’t even want to acknowledge that this travesty will occur by making a pick.  But of course I will.

Prediction:  The Jags aren’t very good, but once again… Jaguars 31 Worst team in NFL history 10

Results:  Jags 23 Rams 20.   Maybe they should have let Rush buy the team.   Then there would at least be a reason to pay attention to the Rams.  Good

Baltimore Ravens (3-2) at Minnesota Vikings (5-0)

We keep waiting for the old man to blow it, and he just keeps Favre-ing it up.  Will this be the week?  And Ravens.. The Bungles?  At Home?

Prediction:  Keep waiting, folks.  Favrehas this bunch believing.  Vikings 27 Ravens 24

Results:  Vikings 33 Ravens31.  The doubters keep fading, and the Vikings just keep getting better.  Favre looks as good as he has since the Holmgren days.  Good

 

Detroit Lions (1-4) at Green Bay Packers (2-2)

You have to wonder how good Rodgers would be if he didn’t get sacked 12 times a game.  Detroit should provide a breather of sorts.

Prediction:  Rodgers enjoys his respite.  Packers 35 Lions 20

Results:  Packers 26 Lions 0.  Funny how much easier it is for a quarterback to look good when you’re on your feet instead of your back, isn’t it?  Now if the Pack can do it against someone besides Detroit…  Good

 

Houston Texans (2-3) at Cincinnati Bengals (4-1)

Dammit, I’ve been spouting about how the Bengals aren’t as good as their record for a month.  What the hell am I supposed to talk about now?

Prediction:  Alright, Ochocinco.  I believe.  Bengals 21 Texans 20

Results:  Texans 28 Bengals 17.  I hate the Texans.  Most schizophrenic team in NFL history.  I hate the Bungles.  For reminding me that they’re the Bungles.  Fair

Cleveland Browns (1-4) at Pittsburgh Steelers (3-2)

Now that the Browns have started winning, look out Steelers.

Prediction:  Get Real.  Steelers 31 Browns 6

Results:  Steelers 27 Browns 14.  Steelers playing Steelers football… Solid defense… and 400 yards passing?  If it works…  Good

Kansas City Chiefs (0-5) at Washington Redskins (2-3)

Another game the defies the very lies of good taste and good football.

Prediction:  Winless teams get excited when they see the Redskins on the schedule.  Chiefs 17 Redskins 10

Results:  Chiefs 14 Redskins6.  Called this one right down the middle.  Congrats, lame ass Chiefs.  Skins… at least there are no winless teams left on the schedule.  Just 9 of 10 games against probable playoff teams.  Bummer.  Good

Carolina Panthers (1-3) at Tampa Bay Bucketheads (1-4)

I swear this week looks like a tournament of bad teams playing each other for the title of ‘Least Bad Team’

Prediction:  The Panthers continue the road to recovery.  Panthers 24 Buccaneers 13

Predictions: Panthers 28 Bucs 21.  About what we expected.  Good

New York Giants (5-0) at New Orleans Saints (4-0)

The advantage of seeing all of the bottom feeders play each other is that you also get games like this, which might just be an NFC Title game preview.

Prediction:  This should be a war.  Home Field is everything in games like this.  Saints 28 Giants 24  Good

Results:  Saints 48 Giants27.   Anyone still doubting the potency of the Saints O?  I called it weeks ago… this team will score on anyone.  Good

Arizona Cardinals (3-2) at Seattle Seahawks (2-3)

Suddenly a very important game, as the loser will all but drop out of the NFC west race.

Prediction:  The Cardinals climb back into contention.  Cardinals 31 Seahawks 21.

Results:  Cardinals 27 Seahawks3.  Say goodnight to the Seahawks.  Good

Philadelphia Eagles (3-1) at Oakland Raiders (1-4)

McNabb vs. The worst QB in football (and yes, that includes college.  And High School.  And…) The Showdown.

Prediction:  The only ‘pick’ is weather to change the channel when the highlights of the many Eagles touchdowns come up.  Eagles 42 Raiders 6

Results:  Raiders 13 Eagles9.  Really?  My opinion of JaLoser hasn’t changed a bit.  He still sucks.  Seymour and the D don’t.  Fair (who saw this coming?) 

Buffalo Bills (1-4) at New York Jets (3-1)

Great rebound opportunity for the Jets.

Prediction: Jets feel all better.  Jets 28 Bills 10

Results:  Bills 16 Jets 13.  Jets fading fast… is the honeymoon over?  Fortunately for Jets fans, Sanchez learns awfully quickly.  This is still a playoff bound team.  Bad

Tennessee Titans (0-5) at New England Patriots (3-2)

Has a team with virtually all of the same components ever fallen so far, so fast as the Titans?  And it just keeps getting worse…

Prediction:  The Tennessee nightmare continues.  Patriots 38 Titans 21

Results:  Patriots 59 Titans 0.  Holy crap…i mean… yeah.  Holy crap.  Good

Chicago Bears (3-1) at Atlanta Falcons (3-1)

Suddenly a rather interesting game… should see some fireworks.

Prediction:  Atlanta in a wild one in the dome.  Falcons 38 Bears 31

Denver Broncos (5-0) at San Diego Chargers (2-2)

Am I actually going to do it?  Denver over San Diego at San Diego?  What has the NFL come to?

Prediction:  Guess I am.  Broncos 23 Chargers 20