A Conversation with my Bike

This is one of several conversation I have with my bicycle about cycling. Scottie has an attitude and I go along for the ride.

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A few definitions:

WG = weenie girl = me

Scottie (S) = 2006 Trek 5.2 Madone, my bike. S.O. gifted me with it in order for me to keep up with him. Scottie is an above average bike; I would say mid to high level. She’s named after Scottie on Star Trek. She can deliver maximum warp depending on WG! She has a personality.

Smiley Face (SF) = this is a new girl on the trail. She rides a very old three speed that squeaks. She rides every day; she rode during the snow and ice. She rides with a smile on her face. She is friendly and actually speaks to you. I would like to ride with her. She has all the cool biking gear, except for the bike.

Anyway last night I was pecking away at an article when I felt blue flames searing into my back……

WG: Yes, Scottie what is it.

S: You didn’t ride today. Thought you wanted to get 300 miles for December?

WG: Scottie, it was a wind chill of 32 and a north wind, you know better.

S: Well, SF rode.

WG: Scottie, SF rides everyday, she’s a happy idiot. But I do like her. I’ll get 300.

S: She’s going to be a better rider than you by Spring. You’re behind.

WF: SCOTTIE, stop it. I know I’m behind.

S: Really, she’s going to out ride you one day. ….Soon!

WG: Scottie, come on, give me a break. I had to go to Goodwill yesterday for some new duds.

S: Oh yeah, that went well didn’t? Speaking of behind….You had to get a size larger in jeans. I’ve noticed. You know that new split in my seat.

WG: SCOTTIE…okay okay, well the Emergency Crash Diet team is all over that and are handling the situation. And that split happened in our last wreck.

S: So you got that goin for ya. Are we riding tomorrow?

WG: Yeeeeesssss, we’ll ride tomorrow, come hell or high water.

S: Promise?

WG: DANG IT SCOTTIE, I PROMISE, hey I’ll even oil your chain.

S: Okay! Gee, did you know SF cleans her bike everyday?

WG: SCOTTIE!

S: How far we goin tomorrow?

WG: Twenty.

S: Twenty-five.

WG: Scottie, I’m gonna ride you til your chain falls off.

S: Oh my, You are funny when you talk dirty.

WG: Goodnight Scottie, get some rest.

S: Goodnight Weenie Girl.

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