God Hates The Mets

Written late night/early morning of Friday/Saturday, June 12th/13th, his new low.

Updated on Tuesday, August 25th, which was quite a few rungs lower on the ladder.

 

We have reached a new low.

 

How many times have I said that sentence in the past 3 years? More than I can count. And so, I’ll try to do just that: count. I am so at my wits end right now (or at least, I think I am…there may be a new low just around the corner!) that I have decided to vent by counting our misfortunes. I will prove, without a shadow of a doubt, that it is an inarguable fact: God hates the Mets.

 

The Mets have a long, long history of misfortunes, but the “modern era” of heartbreak began on that fateful October of 2006. At the start of that month, everything was fine and dandy in Mets world. The path from there to here is, without question, the single most devastating journey that any sports franchise has ever led its fans on over a three year span in the history of athletics. Here is a recounting, to the best of my memory, year by year, of the suffering.

 

 

October 2006: The Setup: Mets have beaten the rival Phillies by over a dozen games and now lead enter the playoffs as the heavy World Series favorites. We have exciting young stars in Wright and Reyes. Beltran, Wagner and Delgado are either entering or exiting their prime and each are coming off great campaigns, Pedro Martinez and Tom Glavine are considered stars, El Duque, and Oliver Perez are each still very good and John Maine is just starting off on a promising career. This is the pinnacle of the Mets franchise in the new millennium. From 2002-2005, the Mets were perennial bottom feeders with a whole host of big money busts, terrible trades/signings, and at one time a 14 game losing streak to boot. Armando Benitez and Braden Looper blew crucial saves left and right. But not anymore. We Mets fans thought we had come out of the tunnel! We had the best record in the MLB, stars galore, young talent, developing prospects, and we’d just swept the Dodgers in round one. What could possibly go wrong? Glad you asked.

 

1.      Pedro gets hurt. Out for the playoffs.

2.      El Duque gets hurt. Out for the playoffs.

3.      An up-and-down NLCS series with the Cardinals forces a game 7. Oliver Perez pitches an absolute gem, and the Mets stay alive on an incredible homer-robbing catch by Endy Chavez late in the game. But with the score tied 1-1 in the 9th, the Cards get a 2 run homer to take an apparently game ending win. But the game was not quite over, unfortunately.

4.      With 2 outs, nobody on, bottom of the 9th, down 3-1, bottom of the order up, a series of clutch hits and walks makes the score 3-2 with the bases loaded, and up strolls Carlos Beltran. He works the count full, and on the payoff pitch, a perfect gopher ball fastball straight down the pipe, he left the bat on his shoulders. He froze. He choked. He couldn’t handle the big city pressure, and he just plain choked. Get used to it, Mets fans, get used to it.

 

 

2007: The Setup: After a winter of few significant roster changes, the Mets are out for revenge to finally win that WS and put game 7 behind them. Fat chance.

 

5.      It is learned that Pedro Martinez’s injury will keep him out nearly all of 2007, leaving the Mets starting rotation aging and depleted. We will be forced to experiment with several different pitchers to no avail, and rush up Mike Pelfrey before he is ready for big league competition, stalling his development.

6.      The Phillies Jimmy Rollins ridiculously states, despite his team losing the division by over a dozen games last year, that the Phillies are “the team to beat” in the NL East. While his statement was still incorrect (at the time he said it, they weren’t) he is credited by Phillies fans for having motivated his team.

7.      Moises Alou is hurt, out for the season.

8.      Jose Valentine is hurt, out for a substantial amount of time.

9.      Delgado gets hurt for a good amount. Various other injuries I cannot remember.

10.  Mets get out to a quick start, but play .500 ball the second half and find themselves battling the Phillies for the division lead in late August.

11.  In a crucial 4 game series with the Phillies, the Mets find themselves down 1 run, in the 9th inning, with 1 out and runners on the corners. Shawn Green hits a soft groundball, probably too soft to turn two, but the Phillies have to try. Rollins flips it to Iguchi at second as Marlon Anderson executes a textbook take-out slide of Iguchi to break up any potential throw over to first. The tying run scores, and the game appears headed to extras until…umpire CB Buckner calls both Anderson and Green out on interference. Willie Randolph and Marlon Anderson scream and plead and yell at the ump, to no avail because Buckner insists Anderson never touched the bag and just went after the fielder. Instant replay shows that not only did Anderson touch the bag, but the speedy Green was already at first base at the time of the slide and any potential throw would have been far too late anyway.

12.  The Phillies go on to sweep the Mets, with each game being won in exotic, late game heroics fashion, including one in which Jayson Werth scores the winning run by stealing second, stealing third, and then coming home on a wild pitch.

13.   Despite this, the Mets battle back and with 17 games left to play maintain a 7 game lead over the Phillies. The next two and a half weeks are among worst sporting memories in Mets history. We blow game after game after game and the Phillies catch fire at the same time, entering the final day with a tie for the division lead (they had actually overtaken it the day before but we had picked up a game to bring it back to tie).

14.  On the last day of the season, Tom Glavine throws up the biggest choke job of his career and lets up 7 runs….in the first inning. The Phillies, playing the lowly Nationals, are inspired by the early 7 spot put up on the Mets scoreboard and win easily to clinch the division.

15.  As salt in the wound, the big-mouthed, hated punk Jimmy Rollins wins the MVP.

 

 

2008: The Setup: Mets have a relatively quiet fall as Mets fans wander around in a daze, trying to make sense of the travesty that just occurred. The Mets are labeled as chokers and are the butt end of ridicule for the entire baseball world. Then, in an effort to revamp the aging bullpen, replace the loss of Tom Glavine, and reenergize the fan base, the Mets trade for Johan Santana, one of the best pitchers in baseball. We also trade beleaguered OF prospect Lastings Milledge for C Brian Schnieder and OF Ryan Church, who win starting positions in camp. We enter 08 with a replenished, healthy roster, mad at the world, and most especially mad at the Phillies (with whom our rivalry has intensified), and out for revenge. After all, we could only go up from there, right?

 

16.  #2 starter Pedro Martinez is injured in his first start, out for a month.

17.  When Pedro returns, it turns out he sucks. He’s lost his velocity from the surgery, and his father’s prolonged death bed trip/death has his mind in other places. Someone we viewed as an ace was now a merely passable #5 pitcher.

18.  Mets play iffy ball initially, and then completely fall apart in June. The team slumps terribly and is at one point 8.5 games out of first place and in 4th in the division. Inexcusable for a team with such a high payroll, somebody must be blamed, and it’s coach Willie Randolph. He is fired in a late night hotel meeting in LA, drawing the chagrin of media members who wanted to be there on scene and drawing even more negative publicity to the Mets.

19.  RP Dauner Sanchez tries to return from a car accident that screwed up his talented, hard throwing arm, to no avail. He sucks the entire season.

20.  RP Matt Wise is injured and never even plays 5 games for the Mets.

21.  Starting C Brian Schnieder gets hurt. He misses several weeks, on and off.

22.  Backup C Ramon Castro is hurt, he misses a month, on and off.

23.  Starting 2B Luis Castillo is injured, out for half the season and ineffective the rest.

24.  Backup 2B Damion Easley is also injured and misses several months.

25.  The Braves claim 3rd string 2B Ruben Gotay off waivers, forcing the Mets to start Jose Reyes’ unrelated childhood buddy Argenis Reyes at 2B, even though Mets management knows he can’t hit .200 in the majors.

26.  Starting RF Ryan Church, our most productive early season hitter, obtains 2 separate concussions, keeping him out for 2/3 of the season and severely limiting his focus and ability when playing.

27.  Starting LF Moises Alou is injured on 3 separate occasions, never even playing 30 games for us in 08. His career ends.

28.  Backup LF Angel Pagan, performing well in Alou’s absence, is injured diving into the stands in Dodger Stadium on an excellent but costly catch. He is out for the season.

29.  Backup corner OF Endy Chavez is hurt running down the 1B line, out for several months

30.  Backup utility man Marlon Anderson is hurt, out for several months. Mets are down to their 6th and 7th string corner outfielders.

31.  Mets trade for OF Trot Nixon from the Diamondbacks…who is promptly hurt within 2 weeks of arriving. Mets are rolling with minor league 1B Nick Evans and minor league 2B Daniel Murphy as their corner OF’s, neither of which have more than 15 games of minor league OF experience.

32.  All-star closer Billy Wagner is hurt and will not only miss the rest of the season, but at least 2/3 of next season as well. Mets 09 DL count: 1

33.  This is the final straw for an already god-awful Mets bullpen that was already much maligned and strewn with wins-turned-into-losses. The Mets are forced to trade for Luis Ayala from the Nationals, who sports an ERA over 5.00, as our closer. Needless to say he doesn’t get it done and the Mets bullpen problems are magnified even greater. Usually blamed as the single worst factor in the Mets’ 2008 hell, the infamous Mets bullpen will go on to blow 29 saves, 22 of which resulted in Mets losses.

34.  As salt in the wound, the Phillies previously struggling free agent acquisition closer Brad Lidge goes a perfect 40-40 in save chances and does not blow 1 single save.

35.  The above instances only exacerbate the Mets problems in clutch situations. To go along with the second-to-last ranked bullpen ERA in the National League and the most blown saves in the MLB, the Mets sport the worst batting average with runners in scoring position of any team in the league. The Phillies sport one of the best.

36.  The Mets suffer dozens of humiliating losses. Each Mets fan remembers one or two that especially stick out, but my memory is unable to recount each of them in their full, gut-wrenching glory. Each game it was the same tale; we’d get out to an early lead, then cough it up in the late innings while our bats mysteriously disappeared. This only counting as 1 misfortune is really conservative.

37.  The 3-2 loss to the Phillies in which we led 2-1 in the bottom of the 9th but Shane Victorino hit a 2-run RBI single to win it for the Phils.

38.  For every humiliating late inning Mets loss there was an equally momentum surging, come from behind win for the Phillies. They played with heart the whole season and won so many games with late inning bats that it highlighted the Mets’ late game failures all the more. Had games ended after 6 innings instead of 9, one statistician determined, the Mets would have won the division in 08 by 15 games instead of losing by 3.

39.  Mets SP John Maine is injured and out for the remainder of the season. He is rushed back as an emergency, desperation reliever in the final week but never actually used in that capacity.

40.  Somehow, amidst all that above mess, through gutty performances and season-long production from our healthy stars, the Mets enter the final 2 week with a 3 game lead in the division…which they promptly squander. They go on to lose the division to the Phillies by 3 games due to a terrible final 2 weeks, while the Phillies play very well over that same span. The only thing left for us is the wildcard.

41.  Entering the final day of the season, the Mets are once again tied for a playoff spot, this time with the Brewers. Johan had thrown a brilliant complete game shutout the day before to keep the Mets alive and on the last home game in Shea history, we really thought we could prolong its history for a few more playoff series. But in a span of 10 minutes, the Mets bullpen lets up 2 solo homers to break the tie vs. the Marlins and the Brewers take the lead. When Ryan Church, as the game winning run, flied out to the warning track in right field at Shea, the Mets were eliminated from playoff contention on the final day of the season for the second consecutive year, which had never happened before in the history of baseball.

42.  To show us up even further, the Phillies go on to win the World Series. Hamels gets WS MVP. Their fans haven’t shut up since.

 

2009: The Setup: After back-to-back terrible seasons, the Mets players and fans are getting desperate. Phillies fans taunt them with their world series win and Cole Hamels insults the Mets as chokers in the offseason. The bullpen must be fixed at all costs…and so it is. Omar cleans house in the pen to trade for some minor role players, and then goes out and gets both Francisco Rodriguez AND JJ Putz, two elite closers, to anchor down the pen. Other minor moves are made to hold down the starting rotation, but with most of our players now healthy and a top 5 bullpen instead of a bottom 5, Mets fans are convinced that this is the year they will reverse their struggles and go the distance.

 

43.  The Mets have more players sent off to play in the useless “World Baseball Classic” than any other team, and as a result are behind schedule on their Training Camp and early season preparedness. Also, K-rod’s Mexico coach does not provide a means to communicate with the Mets and openly states that he doesn’t care or respect the Mets rights at all to have a say in Krod’s usage. He repeatedly uses Krod, clearly his best pitcher, in multiple inning situations despite the Mets’ expressed desire for this not to be so.

44.  Likely Starting Rotation candidate Tim Redding lets up 10 runs in .1 of an inning to the University of Michigan in a Spring training game. Obviously, he is not ready for the majors! He rehabs a bit and is sent to the minors. The lowly Livan Hernandez wins the 5th starter spot.

45.  Starting C Brian Schneider gets injured, and then injured again rehabbing from the first injury. He’ll miss the first 5 weeks. Mets DL count: 2 (remember Wagner was 1).

46.  Star 1B Carlos Delgado tears a hip tendon while sliding into first, but the Mets dilly-dally and keep him around on the bench for 2 weeks before finally getting him examined. Turns out he will need surgery and will end up missing the rest of the season. Mets DL count: 3, 2 stars.

47.  It immediately becomes apparent that Raul Ibanez, an aging FA signee by the Phillies, has found fresh legs and performs at an all-star clip for the whole season.

48.  A Jose Reyes “leg cramp” turns into a “sore calf that stiffened up on the plane ride” and then into a “calf strain” that keeps him out a week.

49.  At the exact same time, backup SS Alex Cora sprains his thumb sliding into second. He hits the 15 day DL. Mets are down to the light hitting, iffy fielding, all around suckish 37 year old third string SS Ramon Martinez. Mets DL trip count: 4, 2 stars.

50.  In their haste to get Ramon out of the lineup, the Mets hurry Reyes back too soon and reinjure his calf, forcing him on the 15 day DL. Mets DL trip count: 5, 3 stars.

51.  As Reyes rehabs his reinjured calf, he tears a tendon in his hamstring and will go on miss the rest of the season. 2 star batters are now out for the season.

52.  Starting RF Ryan Church pulls his hammy. 15 day DL. MDLC: 6, 3 stars.

53.  Playing well in their absence, backup OF Angel Pagan pulls his groin chasing down a double, and is put on the DL. Mets DL count: 7, 3 stars

54.  Star closer Francisco Rodriguez collapses in the bullpen with back spasms and is taken to the hospital. He recovers and won’t need a DL stint, but still, wtf?

55.  Mets are forced to call up Fernando Martinez to play outfield. F-mart was rushed up and does not look ready for major league pitching, hitting below .200 with just one homer before…

56.  F-Mart injures himself in a manner I cannot recall, and since we want to be extra careful with our young prospect Omar decides to keep him out for the year. Mets DL count: 8, 3 stars

57.  It is revealed that heralded setup man JJ Putz, after struggling early on, will need surgery. He will miss the rest of the season. Mets DL count: 9, 4 stars.

58.  The rotation sees yet more woes as Oliver Perez enters camp out of shape, ill-prepared, and unfocused. Freddy Garcia sucks so bad his is fired. Oliver Perez will suck so badly his first few starts that the Mets come up with a phantom injury to get him on the DL and off the roster as he rehabs in the minors. Mets DL count: 10, 4 stars.

59.  Just as Redding returns, John Maine catches the flu and then goes on the DL with shoulder weakness, which turns into a bigger problem that keeps him out the rest of the season. Rotation is down to Johan, Pelfrey, Redding, Livan, and Fernando Nieve. Mets DL count: 11, 4 stars.

60.  The Phillies lead the MLB in homers, the Mets are last. This is part due to our injuries, part due to the Phillies’ opening day lineup remaining perfectly healthy the whole year, part due to Citi Field being cavernous, and part due to Citizens Bank Park being a fishbowl.

61.  Playing the Phillies in a tight early season game, the Mets blow opportunity after opportunity and fall to their rivals in the bottom of the 10th inning on a walk-off-walk by Sean Green with the bases loaded. Yes, a walk-off-walk.

62.  In Los Angeles, the Mets suffer the most embarrassing loss on the season to the Dodgers in 11 innings. They commit 5 errors, all of which result in Dodger runs and 3 of which come in the final inning. With 2 outs and a runner on first in the top of the 11th, Ryan Church is on first and Angel Pagan at the plate when Pagan lines a double into right and Church tries to score. He is safe and the go-ahead run is across until…the third base ump signals “out” because he forgot to tag third base. Replay confirms he missed it. In the bottom of the 9th a still dazed Mets drop a fly ball in right, muff a ground ball at short, and sail a 1 out, bases loaded throw to the plate on a perfect double play ball well wide to gift the Dodgers a win in a horrifying comedy of errors.

63.  A month later, entering a crucial 3 game series with the Phillies (who are 3 games ahead) the Mets win the first but lose the second in heartbreaking fashion. Despite beating up Phils ace Cole Hamels for 11 hits in 5 innings, and outhitting the Phils 16-9, and stranding a remarkable 16 batters on base, the Mets find a way to lose 5-4 on an 11th inning homer by Chase Utley and a spectacular, game saving catch by Jayson Werth to prevent the winning run from crossing for the Mets.

64.  The very next day Mets lose a second consecutive extra innings heartbreaker to the Phillies in the 10th off of a Raul Ibanez homer. In the 7th, 8th, and 9th innings the Mets had RISP with a tie game and were unable to get a run across all three times.

65.  The next day was today. Well, yesterday, as it is 2:08 in the morning and the game ended 3 ½ hours ago I am still writing about it. Facing their cross-town rivals, the Mets used their frustration as motivation tonight and played the best game they’ve played in a long time. They overcame 4 Yankee’s homers. They overcame 3 separate deficits 3 different times. They lost a 3 run lead, and then bounced right back and got the lead again. In the top of the 8th, Wright hit a clutch double to score Beltran from first and give the Mets the lead. The Mets bats had came through in the clutch. K rod went out for the save and found himself with a runner on second and 2 out. He intentionally walked the red hot, switch-hitting Mark Teixara and went after A-Rod, with the whole crowd on their feet supporting both teams, and got A-Rod to pop up to 2B. He threw his bat in disgust, the runners ran off sadly, and Krod let out a victorious yell and pointed to the sky. Castillo drifted back, back, back, teetering and tottering as he struggled to judge the ball due to the wind and it’s height, camped under it, and it fell right into his mitt. And then it popped out. And as Castillo comically flailed around it hit the ground and the throw to the plate was too late as the intentionally walked winning run scored from first base. Tonight, all of baseball laughs at Castillo, laughs at Mets fans, laughs at Jerry Manuel and Omar Minaya, and laughs at the joke the Mets have become.

 

UPDATE: Everything above was written on that June night. Below is an update on what would happen the rest of that season as of August 25th. Quite entertaining if you’re a Phils fan, quite shitty if you’re me.

 

66.  Carlos Beltran bangs his knee making a diving catch in May, but due to the Mets tremendous injuries he forces himself to play through the pain. As a result, the swelling and bruising in his knee gets worse and worse, and when he finally takes a rest it is too late. He heads to the DL and misses the entire season. Mets DL count: 12, 5 stars.

67.  The Phillies sweep the Mets just before the all-star break. I was in Italy so I don’t know the details. That’s probably for the better.

68.  Injury plagued and deflated, the Mets stagger into the all-star break 6.5 games behind the red-hot Phillies, who have had 2 injuries the whole year (Brett Myers and Brad Lidge, who has sucked anyway).

69.  Just before the all-star break, unable to land ace Roy Halladay, the Phillies settle for Cliff Lee, whom they trade worthless prospects to acquire. He goes on an absolute tear and dominates for the Phillies while Roy Halladay struggles for the first time in his career.

70.  Livan Hernandez sucks so hard he is cut. Our rotation is now Johan, Pelfrey, Perez, Redding, and the recently called up Fernando Nieve.

71.  Fernando Nieve is injured trying to cover first base. He is out for the year. Mets DL count: 13, 5 stars.

72.  Mets prospect John Niese, recently called up to take his place, also severely injures himself trying to cover first base. He is out for the season. Mets DL count: 14, 5 stars.

73.  Gary Sheffield, who pathetically leads the team in homers with 10 in mid-August, has further leg problems and is forced to go on a DL stint. Mets DL count: 15, 5 stars.

74.  David Wright, who has reached 30 homers in the prior 2 years, becomes to first Met to outhomer the number on his jersey. His jersey number is 5.

75.  Mets “Vice President of Player Development’ Tony Bernazzard decides to let loose his frustration by ripping off his shirt in the locker room and challenging AA SS prospect Jose Coronado to a fight. It appears to go unnoticed by the press, and the Mets privately scold Bernazzard and move on when…

76.  Mets writer Adam Rubin unearths the story and makes it front page of the New York Times sports section. Public outcry ensues. Omar is forced to fire his friend Tony and in his frustration at Rubin for breaking the story decides to announce to the press that Rubin had asked him how he could get a player development job with the Mets, insinuating that Rubin broke this story just to get Bernazzard’s job. More hullabaloo ensues. Sigh. There is only 1 team in the majors whom anyone could imagine this happening to.

77.  Luis Castillo misses 3 games due to an ankle sprain he received WHEN HE TRIPPED DOWN THE DUGOUT STAIRS.

78.  The Mets lose to the Rockies in the 9th on a walk-off-wild-pitch by Sean Green, incidentally the same pitcher who administered the walk-off-walk earlier.

79.  K-Rod blows a few saves, including 2 separate walk-off grand-slams to the Cardinals and Padres.

80.  David Wright is beaned in the head by a 95 mph Matt Cain fastball. He goes on the DL, and will likely miss the rest of the season. Mets DL count: 16, 6 stars.

81.  Alex Cora’s torn thumb ligament from earlier acts up again, and he goes on the DL to miss the rest of the season. Mets DL count: 17, 6 stars.

82.  The Mets lineup now looks like this: 1.Cory Sullivan, 2. Luis Castillo, 3. Angel Pagan, 4.Daniel Murphy, 5. Jeff Francouer, 6. Fernando Tatis, 7. Omir Santos, 8. Anderson Hernandez. No explanation required.

83.  Jeff Francouer also tears a ligament in his thumb but decides to play through it. I assume he’ll end up missing the rest of the year.

84.  Billy Wagner finally returns from his injury 12 months ago, only to be traded for crappy AA players to the Red Sox in an effort to drop salary.

85.  On the same day Johan Santana is diagnosed with bone chips and will need surgery, causing him to miss the rest of the season. The Mets rotation now looks like this: 1. Mike Pelfrey, 2. Oliver Perez, 3. Tim Redding, 4. Nelson Figueroa, 5. Bobby Parnell. Mets DL count: 18, 7 stars.

86.  At this point we’re 16.5 games back, and I stop watching. The Phillies go on to win the division by 24+ games, and we finish a pathetic 70-94.

87.  The World Series predictably winds up pitting the two teams Mets fans hate the most, the Phillies and Yankees, against one another. Regardless of the outcome, it will be bad. This is the first time ever Mets fans are forced to root for the Yankees.

 

And when things get that bad, you know you’re low.